Abstract:

The systemic therapy has given great attention to the violent dynamics of couples, but has rarely connected the different forms of violence with the Paraphilic Disorder. The phenomenology of the Paraphilic Disorder tells us the violence is a certain and fixed data instead. The common perception about Paraphilic Disorder is based on the image of a solitary individual coercively chained to rigid and stereotypical sexual fantasies. Clinical practice, on the other hand, tells us that, in most cases of Paraphilic Disorder, the patient forms a fixed or long-lasting couple and therefore shares and elaborates the perverse ritual with a partner. So it’s necessary view four levels to understand the "evil", the hatred, that leads to dehumanize the partner: genetic baggage, motivational systems organization, relational pattern and emerging qualities of bonds. Generally the systemic approach has given great attention to the two later points. In particular, in this paper the author supports the importance of understanding and healing the “third world” that every couple co-create: the couple's absolute (Caillè, 2007). In this paper the couple's absolute are called  the “We”, meaning a collective mental dimension that contains mythological, cognitive and somatic aspects that generate a unique identity for each couple. If the therapist understand the “We”, can grasp the real meaning of the violent acts in the couple and this is a central point of a real therapeutic change. 

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